Ok, so should this be a little about me?

     I guess i just wanted somewhere to write everything. i always feel bad telling my husband how unhappy i am. i promise that it has nothing to do with him it just everything that i have going on in my life and i feel like i keep taking on more and more. i wasn't always this depressing person. i used to be called smiley now im called, grumpy.
     my husband is my best friend and i tell him everything but i am such a paranoid person and am starting to feel like maybe i shouldn't be telling him everything. he truly is the best thing that could have happened to me.
     so why am i unhappy? you got me? my depression started two years ago. I've been on and off meds for it right now currently on. and i think that need to up it. maybe its just what i believe in and how i take everything everyone says to heart? or all the stress in my life i dont know? maybe this economy really just sucks ass right now and it really is affecting me.
      I have no social life, I'm a full time college student working full time and before that was working two jobs and before that was working two full time jobs and planing a wedding. i just want to delete this whole thing and say screw it. im not sure what im looking to get out of the 'blogging' thing. i thing. i think every time i want to rant i might just do it on here. or if i have a random question it will end up on here.  so we will see.

curiousity

if you leave an unused tampon in your pocket and you wash your pants can you still use that tampon?

update?

so once again here i am wondering why? why do i hate? I get on facebook and all i read are a bunch of fake people talking about how awesome their lives are. life sucks ass. here i am busting my ass trying to get through school and go to work not knowing what it for dinner and you want to say the you life is tough? you have no idea! now mind you the person that said that their life is tough is my sister. the 19 year old with a husband and a 1 year old who still lives at home. right now her life is as easy as life will ever come. so dont take that for grantie. because it wont be like that forever. im tired of feeling depressed all the time like im the only one out there and right now i am. but that is just..... wow.

tastefully simple no show

So I had a tastefully simple party yesterday. Yea appperently I'm a loser. My mom was the only person to show. Eventually daves family came late and drunk and my friends said they were "stuck". My boss said oh you should have called earlier I just put chicken on the grill. Yea right. Uh huh. Never again. I given everyone an order form and you can order anyway!

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people dying everywhere

So all of the resident are starting to die. Three so far. One is throwing up blood. Two more stopped eating. I hope after this we are done but I guess we will just have to wait and see. God bless irma, irene, and george.

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wish i COULD quit

Its not a matter of finding another job. Because I can do that. Prolly even making more. But will I like the work? Prolly not. Then why are you here? Job security. The only reason why anyone stays is because you are garunteed a job here. There will always be a need in the health care industry. So yea I can leave but I'm not garunteed a job forever.

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facebook

So I deleted all of my friends on facebook. Pretty exciting. I'm just getting tired of all the drama. Maybe I just expect too much. Its funny cause I really don't think anyone cares. If you read my facebook anyone would be able to tell how depressed I am and yet no one does anything about it. That's why I started to blog. Then nobody knows cause I know nobody reads this. Just writing into the emptiness of cyber web.
I know that if I died today no true tears would be shed. Just the fake people with their fake tears and there dumb drama. I would never actually kill myself but it is always on my mind. I guess that's not too normal, huh? I guess that's why I'm supposed to be on meds. Dave thinks its just me that thinks no one likes me. Paranoia... meds. I'm just tired of being on meds. Escpecially when the make me gain weight. Yea maybe if it helped me lose weight Id actually take it.

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